If you’re a proud boat owner, you know that owning one can be – how should we put it? – expensive. But while most of us will pay for repairs to our boats when they need it, some brave souls decide to go down the DIY route with disastrous consequences.

Boating repair fails are both severe and hilarious at the same time. On the one hand, it’s funny to laugh at your fellow human being as they make seemingly basic blunders that a goldfish wouldn’t. But on the other, you pray that they will never actually take their boats out on open water after having so thoroughly wrecked them. The sea is a dangerous place.

Are you in the mood for some epic DIY boat repair fails? Take a look at the following.

Attaching New Equipment To A Boat By Screwing It Directly Onto The Hull

You would think that boatowners would understand intuitively that drilling holes through their boat’s hull is a bad idea. Holes equal water coming up from the sea and onto the deck. Not good.

But that hasn’t stopped one DIY enthusiast. The boat owner wanted to install a new unit of some description on the deck of the boat. Instead of finding a sensible way to secure it, he or she decided that the best thing to do would be to drill the unit into place, directly on the hull “for better stability.”

The boat still works well on dry land. The new unit certainly stays in place, even while being towed by a truck. But problems, as you might expect, inevitably emerge when the boat gets out onto open water. All those holes in the hull make a difference to the boat’s ability to float.

It’s not a problem, however, so long as you stay on the water for five minutes or less. Any longer and the water level on deck is more than knee-deep.

The cherry on top in this example is the fact that the boat owner had used screws complete with Loctite. Once the screws had penetrated through the boat’s hull and out of the other side, there was nothing to lock tightly onto.

Using Duct Tape To Secure The Outboard Motor

Outboard motors are powerful pieces of equipment. Most generate somewhere between 115 to 150 horsepower, enough to propel the boat through the water at between 23 and 28 mph. The outboard motor usually secures to the back of the boat using a range of bespoke fittings made from materials, such as metal. After all, whatever holds the boat motor in place has to withstand significant torsional forces.

Outboard motors, however, can occasionally fail and so need to be replaced. Not all outboard motors fit all boats, so owners have to be careful which they choose. It’s not a good idea to randomly buy a cheap engine if there’s no way to attach it to your boat.

Unfortunately, that’s what one particularly silly boat owner did. Instead of putting his hands up and accepting that the motor didn’t fit, this owner decided that the only thing to do was to duct tape the motor to the back of the boat and hope for the best. If duct tape can hold cars and houses together, then surely it can hold a boat motor in place too?

You can probably imagine how this one ended. The boat owner was disappointed when his new rig promptly detached from his boat and sank quickly into the briny depths.

Painting The Top Coat Over A Wet Barrier Coat

Some boat owners are impatient. They want to get back on deck and out on the water as fast as possible, not wait for hours for paint to dry in the dock. Lack of patience, however, can turn something as simple as repainting the underside of the hull with primer into a complete disaster.

We all know that over time, the underside of the hull can start to look quite battered and bruised. Saltwater especially has a habit of wrecking the appearance of your hull, necessitating regular maintenance. It’s all part and parcel of owning a boat.

The problem comes, however, when you try to speed the process up by applying a top coat over a wet barrier coat. The issue with this is that when the primer cannot dry, the top coat cannot form a secure bond with the structural layers. This then leads to chronic blistering when the boat enters the water, making your vessel look even worse than when you began.

Repairing A Broken Drive Belt With Pantyhose

Drive belts tend to fail. Most life-long boating enthusiasts have experienced it at least once in their lives. It’s not pleasant.

However, the way you deal with broken drive belt issues is important. Most boat owners would probably just replace like with like, but for some pantyhose was the only option.

The idea of carrying out repairs with pantyhose probably came from the fact that a lot of wealthy yacht owners like to keep the company of women while they travel. Pantyhose was just a material that was available at the time of the belt failure and provided a quick fix that allowed the owner to limp back to port.

The problem, however, is that pantyhose also has an annoying tendency to fray, especially when subjected to the mechanical forces of a boat engine, making it something of a hilarious, yet slightly impractical reparatory device.

The solution? Instead of trying to fix up your engine with women’s underwear, it’s usually a better policy to carry a spare belt with you and the tools to replace it. Broken belts are common, so be prepared.

Replacing Your Prop Without Clearing Out Monofilaments

Propellers push your boat forwards. But sometimes, the motor can become entwined with monofilaments, leading to more and more vibrations the faster you go.

You can replace the propeller, but often that won’t make the slightest bit of difference. The vibrations remain. To avoid disappointment and wasted money, always check the prop hub for monofilaments. Most hubs can put up with a bit of mono, but if there’s a lot of the stuff, then you’ll need to clear it out. Don’t let this one slip by you.